voldesnorts:

im-in-wonderland:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat

SERIOUSLY THIS SHIT IS AMAZING AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE CANOLA YOU CAN USE OLIVE FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND MY FINE ASS LEGS

" your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic" I AM LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD

(via cool-kids-wear-converse)

(via the-absolute-best-posts)

Home isn’t a place. It’s you.

Six-Word-Story, Meghan Hale - m-e-ghan (via perfect)

(via perfect)

I don’t want to look back in five years time and think, ‘We could have been magnificent, but I was afraid.’ In 5 years I want to tell of how fear tried to cheat me out of the best thing in life, and I didn’t let it.

stanfordetc:

"enjoy high school, you’re going to miss it when it’s over" nah tho

(via hellbent-on-you)

skypestripper:

hearing a story thats obviously made up

image

(via cool-kids-wear-converse)

If you can see a future without me and that doesn’t break your heart then we’re not doing what I thought we were doing here.

That 70’s Show - via temperare-te (via cosmicscar)

THIS IS EXACTLY IT

(via olivepoppy)

(via vorfreuude)

15yearold:

*dramatically falls down on my bed after a long day of sitting on the couch*

(via courcel)

Feels so good to be productive. I never want to end or start my day not being happy and shit.

thatonerandomchickacrosstheroom:

punkrockmerman:

jamestmccoy:

weloveshortvideos:

He wasn’t ready… 

I’VE WATCHED THIS 18 FUCKIN TIMES AND I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S BETTER THE NOISE OR THE FUCKING LOOK HE GIVES

This is my favorite post ever

(via peterthewebslingerparker)

calmdesfuqdown:

the-werefox:

do you ever get cuddle frustrated? Not sexually frustrated, but just get really frustrated and asdfghklg because you’re not cuddling someone right now and you just really need to feel someone with their arms around you and bury your face in their neck and just feel them close

Someone come fix this for me

(via helloamore)

photoshoppedreality:

w0ndurland:

georgemallory:

nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order

I HATE THIS TEXT POST

I read this to my boyfriend and he’s been like this for the last five minutes…
image

(via youth-iswastedonthe-young)

(via cool-kids-wear-converse)

(via oh-rachel)

slomps:

slomps:

slomps:

Apparently if you saw yourself in person, you wouldn’t recognise yourself

So my biggest question is, WHAT THE FUCK do I look like

And do I look hot

(via voiceof-treason)